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April 7th, 2008

09:56 pm
Do not exceed 0.8 Basils.

I break stuff because I assume that when something doesn't work that I'm not using enough force. Then I interact with it more forcefully until it doesn't work for anyone. Like the time I broke an exhibit at the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum.

Printed on top of the exhibit are the words "How Strong Is A Vacuum?" The exhibit was a four-foot high wood box with a metal handle on a cylinder. The handle weighed one pound, then you turned on the vacuum power under the cylinder. The sign said "Press the vacuum button and pull with all your might!" Okay.

I turned on the vacuum. I bent my knees and straightened my back and grabbed the handle with both hands. My friend [info]mcoletti yelled "Stop!" But it sounded like he was calling to me from really far away. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of the threads of a metal bolt tearing through plywood.

It lifted off the ground, so I stopped pulling. But it didn't lift straight, just up at one corner. When I let go the exhibit stayed up on the one threaded bolt at an obviously improper angle.

I caught myself patting the broken exhibit like it was a bird whose neck I had broken and I was trying to position it into a lifelike shape before leaving.

Then my friends decided that I had learned enough science for the day.

But I did learn how strong a vacuum is. 0.8 Basils.

I am now a reference standard.