Aimee gave me sexy no-bending-over-required George Foreman no-lace elastic ankle short boots...
...and an automobile garbage backpack and turkey tongs, and made me this!
Geometrically-abstract 80's primary colors with Japanese fabric. Like being hugged by the cast of Shōgun.
Dad sent me the Bass Pro Shops Special Edition Crock Pot:
...for slow-roasting small game you kill with your bow in the end-times. Note the woodland camoflage. Beige is for fags!
UPDATE: Dad also included a box of lasagna noodles and the note "call me for crockpot lasagna recipe." Best lasagna I've ever made. Effing artisanal.