basilwhite (basilwhite) wrote,
basilwhite WeirdStupidHardScary for today

Weird: I screw up 'cos I keep worrying about screwing up. Or maybe not. I don't know. I can't remember which expectations I'm failing to meet. That's what family reunions are for. 'Cos I know I'm a disappointment, but I can't remember why. Oh, right, I'm not a doctor. Got it.

Stupid: Everyone else is out there working on their career, climbin' up the ladder. I label myself as a failure, saves me a lotta time. Less confrontational. If I fix what's wrong with me, I'm just gonna find something else to complain about. I've been married. I know how it works. "Why aren't you more than you are now?"

Hard: If I fix my mistakes, I'm just gonna have to get used to new mistakes. I'm havin' a lotta success with these mistakes. I've made peace with my inner dumbass. The more self-esteem you have, the less actual work you have to do.

Scary: The key to happiness is to keep the tv on all day and still feel good about yourself. I don't need to go to night school to feel like a failure. I can do all my screwing up from the couch. Don't be bullied by ambition. Stand up for your right to sleep all day.
Tags: comedy writing, standup comedian

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