June 15th, 2005

158IgnoreConsensusReality

"As Seen on TV" store, Gatlinburg, TN

I was in Tennessee, I went to the "As Seen on TV" store, all the cool inventions they sell on TV, turnip twaddlers, the meat magician.

I call my girlfriend long distance. "I'm at the "As Seen on TV" store, whaddaya want me to get?" "Um, how 'bout some therapy?"

I was all excited 'til I walked inside. You see actresses on TV, they look hot, but you meet 'em in person and they're not anything you'd wanna bring home? Same thing.

Left the store empty-handed. Drivin' out, it hit me, I went to a store to not buy stuff I could have not bought from the comfort of my living room. Store was filthy, smelled like an ashtray, fulla alcoholics and screaming children. It's just like shopping from home. They've brought the home shopping experience back into the store.