April 3rd, 2006


Hutchinson Sportsmen's Club, Brownfield, PA

Well, they were polite! They were all there to see the hypnotist and waited politely for me to do my thing so the hypnotist could start.

After the show, the hypnotist told me that happens to him every time - the club hypes the hypnotist and the room fills with people there to see hypnotism who don't give a sh*t about comedy.

I even gave 'em slow balls, like "Who owns guns?" thinking that'd get a response at a GUN CLUB. Nothing but polite waiting for the hypnotist. Except in the back, where the hypnotist and the bartender were laughing. They were quoting my act later, so I think they were laughing at the material and not the crickets.

The bartender had the time to watch my act 'cos despite the fact that people had to go back to the bartender to get drinks, NO ONE WAS BUYING DRINKS 'cos they wanted to be in the front for the hypnotist.

I'm still glad I went. People gave me their e-mail to let 'em know when I'm in town again, 'cos "We were here to see hypnotism tonight." <-- Real quote.

Dear vistaprint.com:

Dear vistaprint.com:

My magnet design fit in the template boundaries in the Photoshop file, but the magnets you sent me were cut so sloppily that text is cut off in different places on different magnets and almost none of them are usable.

Your customer support lied to me and said my design was outside their cut borders when in fact I went on the site and your site says it's fine. Even so, the borders are irrelevant, as each magnet looks like it was cut by hand in different angles. Your phone drone offered me a discount on a future order. Why would I want half-price on another dog turd?

I am a standup comic and comedy teacher and recommend press kit material to HUNDREDS of comics and entertainers and will explicitly tell them to AVOID VistaPrint in the future. -Basil White

First gay bar gig! TONIGHT, Freddie's Beach Bar 9:00, 555 23rd St. South Arlington

First gay bar gig! 10 min set. 3 blocks from Crystal City Metro. I'll be there at 8:30 for the 9:00 show. 555 23rd St. South between Eads and Fern Sts., 703-685-0555. Grab the Yellow or Blue Line to Crystal City Metro Station, go up all three escalators to the outside (don’t get distracted by the Mall or Hotel) Walk 18th Street under the bridge (US-1) to the corner, (there’s a Post Office), turn left onto Eads Street, continue gayly forward to 23rd Street and turn right – we’re just up on your right.