May 19th, 2009


Who can I make feel good about themselves today?

Today's random affirmation: Who can I make feel good about themselves today?

The boss's last day is on a day I was gonna take leave to prepare for the Deathbillies auditions. I'm gonna rescind the leave to wave goodbye to the old soldier. I argued with him a lot, but we could agree with the other's viewpoint as we argued toward a common goal, a skill I admire and envy. He also had the ability to tell a compelling 30-second biography of everyone he knew. I find him easy to admire and forgive.

Speaking of forgiveness, I read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell last weekend. A genius underachiever in the book mentioned his method of asking himself a question while falling asleep and dreaming on the answer. I've been angry a lot lately, so I asked myself how to remove the anger. My dreaming mind answered: FORGIVE. I've never been one to forgive unless someone asked for forgiveness, but yesterday I forgave every subject and object of my anger. I felt a lot better.

Now my top priority is getting to sleep. I have little value to myself, my work colleagues or my investors when I don't have enough sleep, which is most of the time. Here's the rub: if I plan to exercise in the morning, I don't exercise at all. Exercise does not happen in the morning. I get home at night about 5:45, so I have to eat immediately if I want to stop eating 3 hours before bed. After I eat, I exercise, so I'm off the Wii Fit at 6:30.

Exercise wakes my brain and keeps me awake long after bedtime, sometimes all night. If I don't exercise, my body's awake but my brain's tired. If I exercise, my brain's awake but my body's tired. Maybe I need to wake up and turn on the Wii Fit and have fun playing the silly games until I adopt the habit of exercising in the morning, then bring in the hard work. I could also eat dinner at work, as I already pack breakfast and lunch at work, then have salad or protein cereal at home.

The Deathbillies auditions aren't going well. Ads on Craigslist and the DC City Paper and e-mails to Craigslisters offering their drum or guitar talents and still no viable auditioners. Tomorrow I meet my music accomplice and ask him to post his own ad. He had his own ideas as to how to promote the audition and I am now inclined for him to implement those ideas. I forgive the DC musical community. If we drop the auditions I'll ask Roulier to help me join a band. I need a creative outlet or I will go insane and take all of you with me.

My shirts are tight, I've gained weight, and I feel fatter than ever, but all my suits are loose. WTF. The Versini two-button jacket I'm wearing folds over itself like a double-breasted suit. Note to self: bribe spouse to convert Versini jacket to double-breasted mode.

Last night I slept well, and today feels like a good day.