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Tue, Jul. 18th, 2006, 11:21 am
Rules Of Friendship Evidence

I spent a lot of my childhood figuring out how to get people to tolerate me. Now I feel tolerated all the time and I can't stand it. I'm angry and judgmental about people's interactions with me, and I take everything personally, because I'm weighing all the stimulus I get to determine if this person likes me or tolerates me.

I'm blind to other people's feelings about me, and I'm no longer willing to accept that blindness. I've thought about what other people do that convinces me they like me: invitations and testimony. I trust that people like me if they ask me to spend time with them or spontaneously give me an example of why they like me. Otherwise I suspect their feelings. I don't think people are out to get me or concealing hatred, I think people are out to be left alone and concealing their disinterest.

I've been trying to apply my own rules of friendship evidence to myself by inviting people I like to spend time with me and making an effort to tell people why I like them. It's fun.
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Tue, Jul. 18th, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
caryabend

I was gonna say that! :)

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 02:30 am (UTC)
basilwhite: Make reservations over the phone and show up early.

Make reservations over the phone and show up early Sat.

I'll comp you.

I'll comp your babysitter if you show up Fri too. I'm recording for CD and you're my best laugher.

Maybe you could organize an LJ comedy night for Sat. It's a CD release party: Tell 'em to bring their http://www.livejournal.com/friends/edit.bml page for a free CD.

Phone reservations at 703-734-2800. Website at http://www.basilwhite.com/. Buy tickets at http://www.instantseats.com/index.cfm?r=526A&fuseaction=home.venue&venueID=49.
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Fri, Jul. 21st, 2006 02:26 am (UTC)
basilwhite: Re: Make reservations over the phone and show up early.

I'm recording Friday and Sat. night. If you come both nights I'll cover the babysitter for Sat. night and you and Cary can both come Sat.

I can get four of you in per show for free, but ya gotta be there a little early.

You're the best fan ever.

Fri, Jul. 21st, 2006 02:33 am (UTC)
basilwhite: We're having a jam session Sun. at my house 2-5pm.

We're having a jam session Sun. at my house 2-5pm.

Tue, Jul. 18th, 2006 04:06 pm (UTC)
sequentialscott

I've been thinking about this some recently as well. The other day I exonerated myself from a certain amount of guilt for not keeping up with certain childhood friends in the area. Even when I was a kid I was always the one calling up to see if they wanted to do something. The last time I called was about a year ago, and we went out to see Sean of the Dead. Fun time was had by all, as usual. But then, I don't get a reciprocal call. Once or twice, no big deal. As a pattern, it sends a message.

We haven't really spent much time together in person, so I'm not sure how we'd hit it off. From your LJ, site, and general past impressions I expect that we would ,though. Wanna have lunch sometime and see?

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 02:31 am (UTC)
basilwhite: Yes!

Groovy! email me -
basilwhite @AtTT basilwhite .dOOT comM

Tue, Jul. 18th, 2006 11:09 pm (UTC)
churchmommy68

Well, distance precludes much spending of time...but you are often in my thoughts and the thoughts I have of you are fond ones. I consider you an old friend...hopefully that is mutual.

This introspective streak you are on is making me uncomfortable. I don't like it when someone else facing their own "demons" so to speak convicts me of how often I hide from mine. On a positive note however, I just went and bought myself a drop dead dress for my own looming 20 year class reunion and while I don't expect my blogging to be as entertaining as yours from subiaco was...I will be blogging the experience of going to my first class reunion that I just don't give a damn about being who they expect me to be and we'll see what they think of me when I'm being myself.

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 02:36 am (UTC)
basilwhite: I'm looking forward to reading that.

I'm looking forward to reading that. I've had a lot of hits on the boarding school reunion entry.

Knock 'em dead. Light 'em up. You're awesome.

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 02:15 am (UTC)
thunderflyer

Ya know, when I friended you, I was afraid that if I posted replies to your journal more than say, once a month or less, that you would think I was some creepy internet stalker chick.

My husband and I trully admire you and if you were somewhat more local to us, would probably be invited quite a bit for hanging out and sharing our misery.

You aren't allergic to cats are you?

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 02:21 am (UTC)
basilwhite: Not allergic to cats.

I love creepy stalkers. Reply at will.

email me your address and
I'll send you guys a cd.

basilwhite @AtTT basilwhite .dOOT comM

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 02:24 am (UTC)
thunderflyer: Re: Not allergic to cats.

Well, since you aren't allergic to cats, you (and whatever travelling companion(s) you may or may not have with you) are permanantly invited to our house for hanging out and sharing our misery.

The non-allergy to cats fits in because the Multiverse has seen to it that we have become an underground cat rescue.

Anywho: emailing away!

Fri, Jul. 21st, 2006 02:28 am (UTC)
basilwhite: Re: Not allergic to cats.

Didn't get the e-mail! Make sure you bug me with your snail-mail for a cd.

basilwhite @AtTT basilwhite .dOOT comM

Wed, Jul. 19th, 2006 04:12 am (UTC)
marimacc

Hey, I've invited you out about a billion times, and you almost never can come; perahps you're just disinterested in me? I would spend more time with you, but we're both so busy. Regardless, ANY TIME you have lunch free, call/email me and/or Harv, we always like to hang out with you.

Fri, Jul. 21st, 2006 02:32 am (UTC)
basilwhite: 1/2

About half of my lunch hours I've taken away from my office this year have been with you guys; by that I mean three.

If you play guitar, bass drums or sing, we're having a jam session Sun. at my house 2-5pm. This invite applies to the rest of you guys as well. Just call me if you wanna come over.