basilwhite (basilwhite) wrote,

"When are you gonna become boring like us?"

"When are you gonna grow up?" What they mean is, "When are you gonna become boring like us?"

I thought when I grew up, I'd have to wear a suit jacket and smoke a pipe like Hugh Beaumont and stop playing video games. Hey, turns out, I can pay rent and insurance premiums and retirement account installments and still play video games and listen to Slipknot.

You can act like a kid and still be a responsible adult.

My son's wearin' a t-shirt with his favorite band on it, I'm wearin' a t-shirt with my favorite band on it. We go to my dad's house. Dad points at me. "You dress like your kid. When are you gonna grow up?" Dad's wearing khaki pants and a short-sleeve golf shirt from the Munsingwear collection, cute little embroidered penguin on his man-tit, never played golf in his life. "I dunno, Dad, the bank doesn't seem to care that I watch cartoons and listen to Slayer." "Welcome to the bank, Mr. Rocker. Here's your 401K report. Thanks for the money. Rock on."

There's so many cowards that resent people who have the courage to look and act the way they want to. So many people turn 30 and start dressing like their parents, 'cos they think that's how you get respect.

Used to be, until the 80's, there was one fashion trend at a time, and everybody followed it. And then we started thrift store chic. You buy some article of clothing at the thrift store, then you go to the Gap and buy the rest of the outfit to make it work. Then you looked hip, and no one looked like you. Then department stores started making knock-offs of thrift store clothes. Now we pay $30 for a shirt made to look like something you paid 50 cents for at Goodwill.

Maybe people are too casual. Maybe society has evolved and people aren't fooled by clothes and a grown-up attitude anymore. Go to work, pay your bills, do your chores, play XBox all night, listen to hard rock, fuck the world.

Maybe looking like a grownup and acting mature it what turns people into angry, repressed alcoholics. "I can't roll around on the carpet, it's not mature. I'll just sit here in my tweed suit in the 90-degree heat and enjoy my Cutty Sark, and mutter on about brown people." We tried that. Acting grownup is a sham. It doesn't work.

A drunk in a business suit is so sad. Doesn't dress the way he wants, doesn't do what he wants, pretends to like people he hates and hate people he likes, and drinks to forget who he pretends to be. What a fucking coward. If he had any courage, he'd be at Chuck E. Cheese, or ESPN Zone, or a game arcade playing a flight simulator, or the comic book store, or a comedy club, or anywhere other than wearing a suit getting drunk to forget.

If you got kids, I want you to do something tomorrow. Put on shorts and a t-shirt, and ask them to teach you how to play their video game. Play it all damn day. Order pizza. You'll both be better off.

Designer logos are crap too. A designer sells expensive clothes, they get popular, then they put their label on cheap clothes that poor people wear. Thank god for big designer labels, that's how you tell who the poor people are. And people think designer labels convey individuality, what a scam. Labels convey a lack of individuality. Do something original. Dress in a police uniform covered in blood. Creative and intimidating.

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