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Fri, Jan. 19th, 2007, 03:13 am
Jesus is caught in my spam filter.

I've noticed that a lot of spam has sections of the bible in it to fill the message with text that people don't tend to block.  Then I realized that the stuff was biblical in form but not from the bible.  

And then I found The Markov Bible.  It uses Markov chains to generate a marginally-sensical restructuring of the text of every book of the bible.

Great source for cloudtext for spam.

But fun to read.  When read randomly, the bible makes just as much sense and provides me with the same feeling of inscrutable serenity.  I've just been reading Leviticus warning me thusly:

Then the LORD spake unto her increase, and the tabernacle of the skin thereof, then the sin offering, even the scab spread much abroad in it; then shall do them,
Even Random Leviticus wants us to breed.  Random Jesus is kinda hip:

I say unto you: continue ye also deceived?  And whosoever shall gather grapes of the Father; neither carest thou wilt thou?  And at any man have the rain on them, Elias truly shall be the good fruit. A prophet? yea, though many others, and the people.  Now learn what is easier for thee hence, Satan: thou come into the dead.  I will not commit adultery, Thou shalt perform unto him, Caesar's.  As therefore thine eye evil, know that way.

Amen.


What do you get from The Markov Bible?

Fri, Jan. 19th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
morbidimpishfae: from "Revelation"

"And he saw. Blessed are arrayed in white: for they shall be killed by the patience and decked with fire and girt about the army of pearls, and precious stones and twenty elders sitting, clothed with my God, which were transparent glass. And when he cried with the sea, and devoureth their feet; and unto Ephesus, and where the fear him, that spake as yet; but a name in heaven; and the kingdoms of Issachar were in the sea, saying, Thrust in his people, and she made rich and their dead man: and blasphemed the kingdom and names were four and with gold, and glory, and the fourth angel of his heads and that fast my two hundred and he hath prevailed to commit fornication, and hast given unto him to commit fornication."

*snicker* I'm sure some of the ministers I grew up with could find some profound reason why this passage means gay people are bad and you shouldn't have sex before marriage.

Fri, Jan. 19th, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
basilwhite: Re: from "Revelation"

I can see Michael Palin reading this at morning prayer at the boarding school in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and kids just sitting there trying to pretend to understand.

Fri, Jan. 19th, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
morbidimpishfae: Re: from "Revelation"

I love that movie. I just watched it again last weekend actually! :D