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Sun, Mar. 2nd, 2008, 12:44 pm
Francis Gallagher, Scotland-hater.

Scottish poet Francis Gallagher.


From Gallagher's self-published chapbook "Fuck Scotland."
**********

THE BARRENNESS OF HOME

Scotland is a miserable sodden third-rate
sexually repressed backward shithole of
a country where everyone has to pretend to
appreciate
every minute of their sterile defeated life

the burden of lying chills the soul oh for
just once to tell the truth and say I hate this
phony country & the people with their shabby
spoor
of tribal myths about their own ineffable
greatness

Scots adore themselves but it¹s hard
to see why they so love themselves a bankrupt
politics predictable mediocre culture a failed sad
people pouring their soul into alcohol football
celebrations of their sentimental heart

my country is me I am my people and my loyalty
is to my instinctive intelligence that tells me
all this Scottish stuff is pure shit

CHIPS

Scotland is
the petrified vomit
of a fish supper

HOMAGE TO SCOTLAND

I¹d like to drop an atom bomb
on the fucking Highlands
that would stop their whining
being Scottish is like having sex
with a dead camel or
the editor of a poetry magazine