basilwhite (basilwhite) wrote,

Anyone who uses the word "flapjack," please report for sterilization.

Stolen from webbapettigrew

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks.


2. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called.

Shopping cart. What the hell else do you call it? You carry a basket, you push a cart. Tards.

3. A metal container to carry a meal in.

Lunchbox. A box is enclosed, a pail is not. Tards again.

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in.

A frying pan.

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people.

A sofa.

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof.

A gutter.

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening.

A porch. What the hell else would you call it?

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages.


9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup.

Pancake. Anyone who calls this a flapjack, please report for sterilization.

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself.

This would be a "sandwich." Any sandwich can be a whole meal in itself. I've seen PB&J sandwiches that would feed a platoon.

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach.

Swim trunks if they have built-in briefs, shorts otherwise.

12. Shoes worn for sports.

Running shoes, basketball shoes, boxing shoes. Sneakers aren't worn for sports unless you hate yourself.

13. Putting a room in order.

Tidy oop!

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark.

A firefly. What the hell else?

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball.

A roly-poly.

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down.


17. How do you eat your pizza?

I put it in my mouth. What, do people stick it up their ass? Oh, utensils! No utensils, or I scrape the toppings with a fork and eat the bread with my hand and shovel the toppings in my mouth. I blame my German yankee wife for this behavior.

18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?

A yard sale. I've never seen a "garage sale" actually occur inside a garage.

19. What's the evening meal?

Dinner. It's only supper when you had dinner (your on-purpose biggest meal of the day) at noon.

20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?

Basement. What the hell else, a troll nook?

21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?

A water fountain. Sure, it's a "faucet," but there's lots of other faucets you don't drink out of.

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