I am Reverend Sexy.
Thanks to all the other officiants who gave me emotional support and guidance. You know who you are.
On the ride home The Boss told me that she had friends getting married and that she could fully recommend me as an officiant. I felt like a preacher from a surreal western, like Straight to Hell or Firefly.
I think y'all woulda been proud of my homily:
"Friends, family, it took a long time to get to today, this moment of joy, this moment of reward, and it took a long time to get to this place, this place of joy, a place of harmony that Heidi and Kevin built together. Their two properties join here, so it's fitting that we choose this place to join Heidi and Kevin, bind them to one another, and make them one, forever.
"It took Heidi several months to acquire this half. It took Kevin two years to acquire this half, two years of subdividing and walking through the valley of the shadow of the Adirondack Park Agency. Because that which we value takes time, and that to which we give our time and patience proves what we value.
"When they looked at this property together, Heidi said 'You need a lot of patience when you buy land and houses.' And so Heidi and Kevin named this place Patience Landing. I want you to remember that name. Remember that today, YourHigher Power gave you a message about the rewards of patience."